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A Reversible Santa Claus

RRP $16.99

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Mr. William B. Aikins, alias "Softy" Hubbard, alias Billy The Hopper, paused for breath behind a hedge that bordered a quiet lane and peered out into the highway at a roadster whose tail light advertised its presence to his felonious gaze. It was Christmas Eve, and after a day of unseasonable warmth a slow, drizzling rain was whimsically changing to snow.The Hopper was blowing from two hours' hard travel over rough country. He had stumbled through woodlands, flattened himself in fence corners to avoid the eyes of curious motorists speeding homeward or flying about distributing Christmas gifts, and he was now bent upon committing himself to an inter-urban trolley line that would afford comfortable transportation for the remainder of his journey. Twenty miles, he estimated, still lay between him and his domicile.

Fifty Shelves Of Grey

RRP $29.99

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A hilarious collection of fifty classic books erotically re-mastered. Fifty Shelves of Grey contains all your favourite books, from  The Lord of the Rings to The Lord of the Flies, artfully condensed and erotically remastered, packaged into one volume and ergonomically designed to be easily read with one hand. From literary masterpieces - Big Brother likes to watch in 1984, Gregor finds an unexpected use for a cockroach outfit in Metamorphosis - to modern classics - Emma and Dexter get it on year after year after year in One Day - via unexpected detours into children's fiction - Rabbit gives Pooh a sticky surprise - and self help - the Fear gets Felt and we Do It Anyway - this collection has something for every reader and every kink. So take your hair down, whip off your glasses and unleash your inner hot librarian.

About the Author

Five foot two inches of lithe Lancashire muscle, combining the intellect of Joan Bakewell, the style of Joan Collins and the bosom of Joan from Mad Men, Vanessa Parody enjoyed previous careers as a burlesque puppeteer, Formula One mechanic and research associate at the Large Hadron Collider before moving into erotic fiction. She is the only person to have been the simultaneous recipient of Rear of the Year, the British Mensa Intelligence Award and a two year suspended sentence for streaking across the curling rink at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. She is unmarried.

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